Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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