I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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