He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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