..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
