she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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