why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
