You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
