some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
there is glitter all over my balls
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
