I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize