4 words: hood of his car
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
