You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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