do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
