I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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