so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
