fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
