this just has baby written all over it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
