3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
