Got a toothbrush?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
it's great music for shaving your balls
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
