it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
