I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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