How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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