Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
