dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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