It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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