butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
