i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
