I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
