And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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