I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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