Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This baby is an asshole
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.