when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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