I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
