Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
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You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
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I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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