my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Farmville is her only friend.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
