His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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