I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize