people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
