That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
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I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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