In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
