My nipple is on Facebook.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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