youre lurking in front of me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
false alarm, still single
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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