Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
