i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
