Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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