Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
