We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
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someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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