So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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