I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
