God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hippo gnu deer
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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