His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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