You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
