I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
