I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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