if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
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we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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