My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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