What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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