he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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