y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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