I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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